Everyone has their vision of how their fantasy football draft day is going to play out. Everyone’s on time, everyone pays their dues on draft day, everything goes off without a hitch. For some of us that vision is reality. For the rest of us, we’ve never known that glorious feeling. We’ve had to deal with a few characters wanting to make this day way harder than it has to be. Never heard of these people? Well, let me introduce you to the people that you DON’T want in your fantasy football league.
The Trade Nazi – The guy who vetoes every single trade because it apparently gives someone an “unfair” advantage. He’ll say things “He can’t trade for LeSean McCoy! He’s already in 1st place!”
The Rankings/Expert Advice/Projection Slave – We’ve all drafted with this guy. He’s got a binder full of notes/depth charts, at least 2 of those fantasy football guides and a laptop checking what Matthew Berry thinks that a certain player will do. He’ll also be yelling at you when you pick a player “too early” and commenting how that was a great “value pick”
The “Draft comedian/Rebel” – This is the guy that will draft Aaron Hernandez. This is the guy who will take a kicker WAY earlier than anyone needs to. This year he’ll probably be the guy to draft Johnny Manziel really early, then stand up and do the money sign.
It’s not his pick but he says “Oh man, I can’t believe (Player Name) is still there! – We’ve all been there. That sleeper pick you’ve got your eye on is still on the board and you’re just 2 picks away, only to hear someone (not even their turn either) exclaim “Oh goodness! I can’t believe Danny Woodhead is still up for grabs!” Danny Woodhead is promptly drafted and you wanna promptly stab someone in the neck.
The guy who can’t pay his league dues on time – We all know this guy. At the draft his go-to line is “Is it cool if I pay you at the end of the week? My dog ate my checkbook.” You wanna let him know that every bank has an app that lets you transfer money these days, but it’s your guy so you let him slide. Week 8 rolls around and he’s asking if you if he can pay in installments.
The Abandon-er– Dude gets bored by Week 3 and doesn’t bother checking his team anymore. Even worse when he has 2 or 3 players that still leave his team in a decent spot.
The guy who proposes idiotic trades – You know, the guy who offers you Carson Palmer & the Cowboys defense for Peyton Manning. When offended by the offer he exclaims “I’M TRADING YOU A QB BACK! I DON’T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS!”
The Homer – This is the guy who will take whose fandom transfers over to his fantasy draft. For example, let’s say he’s a Browns fan. He’s gonna go ahead and take Ben Tate in the first round. At some point he’ll even draft Josh Gordon because he heard the “best case scenario” is that he’ll only miss half the year.
There’s a chance that you can avoid having every single one of these guys in your league, but maybe you can avoid most.
Oh wait! You can avoid all of these guys by playing weekly fantasy football on SideLeague! The first social fantasy sports app for iOS & Android. Download it on your mobile device at SideLeague.com! (Did you think I really wasn’t gonna try to have a shameless plug somewhere on this article?)